FRAMED IN MAINE FOR POT AND COCAINE

There is so much that is wrong with the prison system that I could write thousands of pages on it but right now I want to focus the issue of marijuana law. The laws vary from state to state, and the state i'm talking about now is Maine. What's more the travesty of the so called American justice system and the dispicible use of informants by the FBI.
I've been in Federal prison for almost 4 years and the stories of men and women being jailed without any evidence but the word of snitches is horrifying. In my opinion, NO ONE should be put in jail for marijuana, it should be made legal. Period. (Medical marijuana is legal in Maine).
Here is a horrible example of how snitches are used by FBI and "propondarence of evidence" and other much used phrases like "synopsis, collusion, conspiracy" are used in an indictment.
Here's an example: Say you know someone who gets busted by the Feds, and he's looking at a lot of time, 10, 20, 30 years. All he has to do is tell the Feds that YOU have been selling him a pound of pot every week for a year, let's say for 2 or 3 years, and the FBI will count that up and WHAM - you're finished!
So please allow me to introduce Sherwood Jordan. In March 2008 he was arrested as part of a large drug bust which eventually involved over twenty other people, many of whom were part of the Iron Horsemen motorcycle club and were charged with "conspiracy to distribute cocaine and marijuana". I'm now going to paraphrase Mitzie Naples (Sherwood's POA).
"Although we all know Sherwood was not a member of the Iron Horsemen and he was not involved in cocaine, he declined bail and remained in jail until his trial in May of 2009."
Later, Sherwood told me the whole story, which I will share with you tommorrow. Stay tuned.

CAT SCANS AND COLD HAMBURGERS

Today I went to get my CAT scan done (see results above). I was escorted to the hospital by two FBOP guards, the guard not driving picked me up from my dorm unit and got me dressed out in pants, shirt and a jacket. Normally, we wear overalls. They suck! So the guard who picked me up from my unit says, "So, what's this WhiteChocolateMess website?". I thought, WTF! I asked him if it said that on the papers he was carrying and he says, "No, I listen to your phone calls."
Then he says it's not nice but he has to do it. My guess as to why he told me this was because he wanted me to know all the power he had over me, an alpha male thang. Who knows? All phone calls are recorded but they don't always listen to every one. You can never be sure. I'm then taken down after being shackled both hands around my waist and ankles, and we board a ten man passenger van to cross The Brooklyn Bridge to a midtown Manhattan hospital. Mind you, this is the first time I'm seeing the "outside" in over a year. It's a pleasant shock. There's sun.
People try not to stare but they do, it feels like i'm in a fucking movie, like I'm some horrible mass murderer. On the way there, guard #1 asks me all sorts of questions and I answered as best I could. It was actually nice having somebody different to talk with for a change.
Getting a CAT scan really bites, they inject you with some crap so the radiation can get an image of your insides. It's the biggest damn syringe I've ever seen. The nurse plugged it into a machine and then IV'd into my arm and I felt a horrible heat rush consume me. The radiologist asked me what I was in for so I said I murdered fluffy kittens so I could make my own ugs.
When I got back, I got to eat a nice cold stale hamburger. My big day out in Manhattan!

CRACK HEADS AND MICROWAVES

Here I am, sitting on my bunk bed, a 6 and a half foot spray painted grey metal upper and lower bunk bed, I have the lower bunk. I'm here in the Brooklyn Detention center, it's Thanksgiving and I'm totally surrounded by horrible people, I'm listening to Johnny Cash's daughter Roseann. Her father gave her a list of 100 country songs she needs to listen to.
I have a radio, the radios are sold in the commisary. It's a little Sony FM/AM walkman, it's how inmates in the Federal prison system also listen to TV - through the radios. It's much better than trying to hear the TV through all the awful noise.
We just had Thanksgiving dinner. We had sliced turkey with stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce. The sweet potatoes were fucking cold, so was the vegetables.
We also had pumpkin pie and ice cream.
I used to think that the Federal prison system was for white collar criminals. I would say that over 70 % of inmates are here for drugs, most crack (AKA freebased cocaine).
Oh, cool, "Crucial Chaos" is on WNYU.org's Punk Rock Hour. But back to the drug dealers. I'm surrounded by the worst stupid crack dealers that have never been out of their fucking neighborhoods (until now) , sideways-hat wearing fuck heads, so damn stupid and the worst part is they don't even know it! There are these two dudes talking about not using the microwave for fear of getting radiation poisoning. So I told them that by the age of 50 they will die from stomach cancer. I had a good laugh over that one, at least.

SIT ON MY FACE AND SING THE GERMAN NATIONAL ANTHEM!

I just saw the American Music Awards and for the very first time, the princess of POP, Lady GaGa, and OMFG! What a fantastic art performance. Lady GaGa is an all out walking, talking, singing fashion freak fest. I hope that I get a chance to catch her live show one day.
Since last Friday night, everyone here is under quarantine for Chicken Pox! 21 days! Oh, there's one thought that's getting me through this. Lady Gaga sitting on my face and singing the German National Anthem...

BERNIE MADOFF, PEANUT BUTTER

It's so fucking hot in here. It's 9:37 Pm, and the air gets turned off about now. The humidity is so high we all just sit and sweat, it's awful. There must be over a hundred people crammed into this dorm. There's a 120 beds in here and almost all are occupied. Since this is a Federal pre-trial detention center we get all the high end criminals. So you're all dying to know - did I get to meet Bernie? Sadly, no. I wish I could shake his hand, he's the King of White Collar Crime these days. I did have the pleasure of meeting John Gotti's brother Vinny, though. It was fun going over the lines from Goodfellas. "You're a funny guy!," I told him. He was like "What? Like how?". I said "You know! How you tell the story." He got a bad cold while he was here, maybe from me, maybe from somebody else. But Vinny was convinced it was me. "Who sent you to get me?", he joked. I told him that I had a poster of his brother John on my wall right up there with Scarface, Al Capone, John Dillinger, Machine Gun Kelly, Ma Barker and her sons. All the fucking greats! Anyway, Vinny was cool but I was taken a back by how short he was, but his personality made him big. There's another mob guy in here but I won't mention him until he gets transferred out.

And now, a helpful household time from a federal prisoner. You ever want to reuse a peanut butter jar? You have to wash the crap out of it to get rid of that horrid peanut smell, Well, homies, have I got a tip for you! You don't have to pre-wash it. Simply wad up a couple of sheets of newspaper, put it in th jar with some COLD water (very critical - COLD water only), put the lid back on it and shake it like a polaroid picture. You may have to do this twice depending on how funky your jar is. It will totally clean, no smell at all, no greasy mess. Next week I'll be giving you the low down on the so called food we are served here. I'm depressed just thinking about it.

KANYE AND VICK: I NEED TO RANT

I know I'm late with this but I need to say it. Kanye West is a horrible little man, a worthless piece of feces, Fuck Beyonce and her worthless video, what's more, Fuck Kanye West for stealing Taylor Swift's moment of glory, and congrats to Taylor on her CMA awards.
Now Michael Vick's gonna be my VIC - he should have been banned from pro ball for life. How could anyone want that monster as a role model for children aspiring to be pro football stars? I wish he could get ass raped while watching the videos of him killing those dogs, with his eyes being forced open by those eye clamps like the ones used in Clockwork Orange.
OK, I feel so much better now and I hope you do as well.
I will soon be posting some slices of life in prison, in addition to my thoughts on Bernie Madoff and some of the other jailbirds in the recent news so stay tuned.

MY CURRENT HOME

I always wanted to live in Manhattan but like a lot of people I had to settle for Brooklyn.

SOME OF MY ART WORK

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

Hey everyone, my name is Dillinger, yes it's a nickname. I've had it for years. Right now I am in a Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, NY. I was arrested June 2006 by the FBI for stealing money from hundreds of banks, a long time before it became the rage. I know the Feds hate it when you take their money , I have more pictures of more money but this will do for now. Contrary to popular belief there are NO tennis courts in Federal prison, and health care is horrible, and don't get me started on the so called food - I'd kill for a two day old McDonalds cheeseburger right about now. So, this intro is being posted by a friend (we don't have computers in prison either!).

Feel free to ask me anything you'd like. I have plenty of free time to answer!
Crime and Beauty Are one, as John Waters used to say!
JD